you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
