Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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