So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize
