The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
