Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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