And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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