pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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