idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
