i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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