May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
