new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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