he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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