Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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