oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
