this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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