I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
