All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
