Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
