I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
