I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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