I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That accounts for only three of the penises
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
