I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
