Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
