marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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