With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
