he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
