Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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