I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Randomize
