My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.