I wish my penis had an off switch
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
