That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
