So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
50% drunk capacity currently
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
