She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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