when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
