dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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