you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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