You work out of a Hotel?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
