i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Its about making memories worth repressing
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
