wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize