I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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