My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
