No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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