guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
