its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
