My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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