i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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