tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
