I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
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we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
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Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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