You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
