This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
