Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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