Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
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Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
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You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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