Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
last night I used snow as a chaser
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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