i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
