if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
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I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
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I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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