Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
