i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
