you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
