Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
