I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
