On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
