if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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